Disappointment

However much I try not to, I end up having expectations from people. I know it is normal but it also almost always is hurtful and leads to disappointment. I know it is not the person but my expectation out of him/her that has hurt me. And every time I make a note not to expect anything from anyone, and every time, seemingly unknowingly I would’ve had some kind of expectation.

I’m not saying this in a pessimistic way, rather a matter of fact way. I don’t like getting hurt. Why does? And I don’t want to blame it on someone else either, the same way I wouldn’t be ready to take blame for someone else’s hurt. So it seems only logical to try to avoid the cause of it all.

Looks like it isn’t as easy to do as it is to think of. I realize that my subconscious is not really in my control. Yet. Any pointers that would help? Meditation? Yoga anyone?

Realization

That I’d have never fitted in a joint family, that I cannot handle large number of people, that I’m repelled by crowd, that I cannot smile and take it all in, that I will be curt with people I can’t handle, that I will never for the life of me invite a crowd of people I cannot handle (all at once).

Does that make me a bad person? Well, even if it does, there isn’t really much I can do to help it.

Dear ladies at my office

You don’t need to lift the toilet seat up when you’re done. It is a ladies toilet and it is gross to touch a public toilet seat, even to lift it up or get it down. So please let the seat be. Thank you.

Oh, and also make sure to wipe the seats dry before heading out.

When a day ends with not much done

I’m so terribly bored today, I can’t wrap my head around things going through it. The house is an absolute mess, dishes need to be done, clothes need to be folded, kitchen needs to be cleaned and cupboard needs to be arranged. And I am in no mood to do any of it.

If you will, please excuse my using this place to just type out random things like what I don’t want to do. While we’re there, I also don’t want to cook today. A pizza will do, thank you. And thin crust please.

Days seem to be flying by and we are one month away from officially being out of summer. Another reason to have pizza today. Boy, am I waiting for the monsoons. This heat just wouldn’t end.

I’m finally not thinking every second of the day as possible blog fodder. Now that, I call massive improvement (or rather appropriately ‘getting over it’).

Holidays and weekends are no big deal around here any more  So nobody gets excited when it is a Friday. Does that read as sad as it is to type?

And I’m craving mangoes like there’s no tomorrow.  Perfect, it is mango season, you’d say. Only we don’t get many good ones in the area we live in. Sometimes I think it might be karma.

I’m still determined to hunt down those elusive, juicy, sweet mangoes. Determination is my second name.

Iron Man tickets are all sold out, even in IMAX! So many rich people out there shelling out 550 Rs for a movie! Not that I didn’t know of it before. Bangalore is more a rich man’s city now-a-days. It is al-right, I’ll catch the movie next week.

Reading and hearing and seeing about all the harassment/violence against women is making me go bonkers. Are we as a society moving towards the direction which points directly down the earth or are we advancing and people coming forward to report the issues? Don’t answer that. I think I’ll go live beneath a rock until I emerge in an era of people respecting people. Yes, escapist is my third name.

And now that I’ve posted something, I can get out of the thought that I haven’t posted in a long while and people are beginning to forget my blog-xistence.

The future of Bengaluru

Things have changed drastically over the past decade. More people, more vehicles, more buildings, narrower roads, fewer trees, drying up lakes, disappeared sparrows, eternally dug up roads. I’m sure the city is still in its growing stage. But I wonder if it can survive such rapid a growth. Then I start to worry and fear and think for the future of the once garden city, Bengaluru.

It is not that I am being all pessimistic about the developments happening. On the contrary I am happy. It is sad that the happiness should come with a ‘but’ – ‘but where is the balance?’ Where is the fresh air? Where is pedestrian space? Where are the lakes? Where is time?

Some nights ago, I dreamt that the beautiful city has turned a concrete jungle with no trees and *shudder* no old buildings. It has suddenly transformed into a tech city with no remains of history on the roads. No buildings I can see and remember the days of yore. I woke up in a cold sweat in a state of panic. What if that really happened? Old buildings and houses are coming down and getting replaced by multi-storeyed apartment complexes. Trees are cut to make way for new changes. What if one day the beautiful city I saw suddenly disappeared and I can’t show my kids what I lived in?

I know I sound paranoid and childish. But any Bangalorean will agree with me that we need our roots, to remember, to revisit and to tell stories to the next generation.

I have been reading a lot of articles in The Hindu. How rain water harvesting has flopped in the city. There are many more articles on RWH. If possible I’ll dig the links out. I wonder why educated people fail to understand the necessity of the hour and do the needful. Corporates can also contribute in this cause to save the city. People can carpool and reduce the traffic. Offices can introduce flexi-hours as to beat the peak hour rush. Like my office timings are 7:30 am – 4:30 pm. So we hardly face any traffic.

This article on The Hindu Habitat, writer seems to have read my mind (except the statistics). With temperatures soaring with each passing year, the city is slowly losing its fame for the lovely weather. Why not plant more trees in your backyard (those who are lucky to have one)? Why not protest against the trees which are being cut? There will always be another way to work around it. This one goes to show how one can plant.

Should I even begin with the water scarcity problem? Almost everybody I know is bearing the brunt of the issue. Many people and societies resort to getting water from the tankers whose prices have also increased. But the matter of concern is that I see a borewell being drilled every other day in my own small area. Do people have any idea that there is something called as ground water/water table and it might get affected with so many borewells?

So who is responsible for bringing back the balance?

The government? The corporation? Beep. Wrong answer. Though it might help to reinforce some rules and regulations about construction and borewell drilling.

The correct answer is me and you, the people who love this city for its lovely weather and beautiful tree-lined roads, the people who migrated here for their bread, the people who know what the problem is but are expecting someone else to solve them.

Bangaloreans, and I mean everybody who lives here, please take it upon yourselves to see around and become aware of the changes. Doesn’t the rise in temperature bother you? Doesn’t the dust and dirt you inhale on the road concern your health? Doesn’t the garbage that lies around concern your hygiene? Doesn’t the traffic jam get to your nerves? Don’t you want to be able to cross the road without holding your heart in throat?

I know. Who doesn’t enjoy walking down a lane lined with green canopy? Everybody wants to have peace of mind. Everybody wants to see clean roads and surroundings. But what is everybody doing (or not doing) for it?

For once, citizens of Bangalore. Ask yourselves these questions. And find answers before it is too late.

PS: I recommend reading The Habitat supplement that comes along with The Hindu, every Saturday. The supplement also gives tips, suggestions and information on buildings and construction.

PS 2: This is not a sponsored post. I am not being paid to feature these articles here. I read the paper everyday and find the information mentioned useful.

Some more related articles

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-propertyplus/evergreen-world/article4586754.ece

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-propertyplus/make-hay-when-it-rains/article4586747.ece

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-propertyplus/what-about-a-kitchen-garden/article4490741.ece

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-propertyplus/managing-lakes/article4490125.ece

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-propertyplus/walking-the-ecotalk/article4490130.ece

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-propertyplus/how-best-to-go-green/article4490136.ece

 

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Why do we do what we do?

Ever wondered what you would do with your life if so many things didn’t matter? What would happen if you didn’t care to fit in to the societal norms? What you would do if didn’t have to care about what so many people thought, if you didn’t have to worry about letting someone down.

We live in a world where we are observed every day and criticized for what we do or choose not to do. It has been ingrained in our subconscious to watch what we do or say. We have been taught to please others. We have been told to adjust and do certain things because we live in a society.

We mostly do things to please others. Children usually do things that makes their parents happy, spouses do what their wife/husband likes. People do what others expect of them. If they are not able to do such a thing, it is rest assured that the rest of their lives, they will keep getting reminders of what they were not able to do.

Grades in class, ace in sports, secure a good seat in top college, take to professional courses, make sure you secure good marks so you get a good job in a top company, get married ‘at the right age’, have a child at the right age, have another child if people around want you to, get the children into a competitive international school, make sure the kids get good grades, make sure the kids secure good marks for a top college, and so on the cycle continues.

It makes me wonder, is this all the we can come up with? That’s it? Such a pity.

Just think, if you didn’t have a route to follow, if you didn’t have  book to follow, if you didn’t have rules to follow, what would you do? What would your heart say? Where would your feet lead you? What would go on in your mind?