Dear Baby A,
I want to make this clear for you, just in case. I am not god. I am a woman, a friend, a wife, a daughter and many other humanly forms but not god or replacement of one.
Popular belief would make you think otherwise, as explained below.
I = Mother
Mother = God
so I = God
This mother’s day, that is today, I couldn’t avoid noticing various people publicly express love, gratitude and worship for their and others’ mother (of which I am not against). But also, people share different sayings and pictures of the relationship between mom-child, which tends to point towards mother = greatness. This, I think, is not the truth.
Human mothers, like in all species that give birth, take great pains to carry a child and give birth. They become primary caretakers (in Indian set-up) for the baby and bring them up. Which I think is nothing to brag about. The relationship between a mother and child does not become special just because of this reason. It, like any other relationship, should be nurtured and taken care of, by both parties involved. Only then does it blossom into something special.
I wouldn’t give birth to you if I couldn’t do all I can to take care of you. It is not greatness, it is my will to be committed to my decision, no matter what. I don’t automatically become special to you just because I am your mother. If we understand, love and respect each other, now that will be something special. Never idolize me, please. Never think of me as epitome of sacrifice. If I give up something for you, then it is because of my own wish. I will not be unhappy because of it. You don’t have to compensate it with something else. Also, don’t expect me to give up everything you expect. I won’t, if I don’t feel like it. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It only means you have an unreasonable request, which can’t be fulfilled.
I will not spoon feed you through your life. I will help you. But you better learn your life-skills early and be ready to take it from there. I will always be there for you. But I will also be where I want to be. I too have a life to live, you see.
I want you to have all the happiness that there is and joy, fun, success, health, wealth and all that. But I also want you to have responsibility, common sense, dignity, empathy and decency. Care for your family, friends, country and environment. This is my wish for you. If I can pass this on to you, nothing will make me happier. Not that mother’s day wish you will send (I hope not) me this day few years later.
Today, I don’t feel special just because someone decided to name it mother’s day. I refuse to be celebrated only on one day and that too because I am a mother. I want your and others’ love and respect every day. I want your acknowledgement everyday.
All that I’ve told you till now, I’m sure, is pointing towards my non-greatness and very human-ness. Please believe it. For it is the truth I want to tell you through this letter. I am not great, I am flawed, I am human. Just like you. Just like all humans.
Just so you know, I don’t believe in celebrating someone only on one day. I won’t mind if you want to wish me, but I’d be glad if you gave those cheesy archies greeting cards a miss.