Children are truly wonders that we choose to have the privilege of creating. They unknowingly evoke so many strong emotions in their parents and sometimes others too, that it is simply astonishing that their little selves can have such an effect on their surroundings.
Baby A, who is 19 month old now, is growing up so fast and learning so many things at such a pace, that I find it hard to keep up. We are hitting the terrible twos already and it gets me worked up and frustrated quick. I get so angry that I snap at her and scream. But the twist is, when she does something unexpected the very next moment which has me all gooey and mushy inside and giggly outside. And she stares at me like I’m nuts.
There are moments when she is mad at me because I didn’t let her climb on the chair and jump from there or that I put her on the potty ‘right now’ than play ‘come here’ because she would pee on the carpet otherwise. Oh yes, potty training and sleep training going on in parallel which must tell you why I’m so irritated in the first place. *hint* *hint* sleerrr…ep depriwell…vation.
And then there are moments when I am so happy just to be with her at home and witness all the little things she learns. It just fills my heart and my eyes brim sometimes. Like that time when she unexpectedly said ‘aaneena’ for ‘anjaneya*’, her first three letter word. Or when she learnt to dance to ‘twinkle twinkle little star’. I feel lucky to have had the choice to stay home and be with her. I realize now that not many have the same privilege. I know I sound like a fond mother who loves whatever her child does, but trust me that’s not the case. I’m just in awe of nature, at how children are created, born and grow up. And seeing it firsthand just makes me feel the things I do.
Then just like that I’m thrown back to earth when she refuses to listen to me or hangs like a dead-weight when I try to carry her or that time when she says she wants to poop on the potty but refuses to when she’s taken there. Is she already playing me? Can’t wait for her to hit the teens.
Did you know disciplining a child this age is very difficult. She doesn’t understand the concept of time-outs so it is useless. Right now she knows if I say “no” then she’s doing something she shouldn’t be. But I’m not sure if the screaming that accompanies the “no” gets the message across as well. But she does respond to raised voice when she doesn’t to polite asking or cooing. I know she will just take the example and start screaming in a few days but I just can’t control the reflex when she fails to comply after my repeated requests. Wish there was a handbook on parenting. Oh but there will be, only it will not be the ultimate truth or solution to every situation.
*anjaneya is a Hindu deity which is also known as monkey god, who is a mythological character in the story of Ramayana.