Life’s lessons from retrospection

Life's LessonsA sense of peace has resided within me. I have been feeling it ever since I set foot in India. I don’t know if it was the travel or India or the fact that I am older (and hence wiser?). I realise that things don’t hurt or tick me off as they used to. Being born and growing up in India, I knew what to expect, both from places and people. I had made up my mind to not let things/people bother me. What surprised me most was that it wasn’t at all difficult to do just that. I was more relaxed and much more forgiving. As a result there was almost zero anxiety related to anything, however big it was.

Being back at places I have lived gave me an opportunity to remember old times and on more than one occasion I wished that I should not have let the bridge break. I missed a few people and wished I was more forgiving back then. I realise that things that I thought were huge back then are now of no importance. Most things turn out to be nothing with time. I was obviously too young, too inexperienced and too naive to see it that way. Now that I do, I have decided to not let things matter, no matter how big they seem. With time, we change and heal. I now believe in second chances.

Friends who were extremely close a few years back haven’t seen each other for years now. We lived in the same city but didn’t meet for a long time (before we moved). Now that I made an effort to reconnect and a few responded. We met and we picked up right where we left. It felt nice. I learnt that all relationships take a lot of work and effort to survive and sustain. Effort from both ends.

As I sit, my eyes closed (as I usually do when I want to imagine), I see my life, from as early as I can remember. I see the negative feelings I kept bottled and how they have influenced me as a person. Or, if I’m being honest, hindered me from growing. It now seems like a waste of time and waste of space in my mind. Have I finally learnt to let go?

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2 thoughts on “Life’s lessons from retrospection

  1. For a long time I thought I’m being targeted because I’m weak and naive. Then I realized maybe I’m too sensitive. Now I’m in my late twenties and I feel like I should let go of things and be more forgiving like you said. But unfortunately it hasn’t been so easy for me. I still get hurt and a lack of maturity I guess reflects in how I react! That is retracting and going into my shell and completely shutting them down! I’m sure it takes a lot of time to reach where you have reached, growing and learning every day!🙂

    • It isn’t easy to forgive. No matter how old you get. But I guess you’d be more willing to try. I still go into my shell every once in a while. Its just the way I deal with things. But I also consciously try to come out of it. Now I am able to see the big picture and realize that not all things have to matter to me. And that to be happy I don’t need everything to be perfect.

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